Gargle Mayonaise Pumpkin

Backstage chat
 

- Japanese guitar dude(aka James):
 I cant do this D'arcy! I refuse to play that mawkish song while he wails like a Backstreet Boy and proclaims his lame ass teenage love to this Vietnamese Tarsier. It has gone too far. Its gross, I feel raped... I do not want to witness another sorrowful display of self-flagellation. It feels as if Nosferatu or Galactor needed my assistance to jerk off...

(He sighed evoking fictionalized melancholia just as if he was auditioning for the

remake of the Wizard of Oz and with moony eyes he said)
Gawd,I miss you Pee Wee, and you Agatha my first love, Hoot Owl my dear old friend...Holy G-Force.I freaking loved that show. You know what? the hell with this jerkwad, Im going to go home and download it, right fucking now.

- Androgynous sky-scraping cyborg and bass player (aka D'arcy): Hold it right there Dorothy! I totally catch your drift, but come on Jap! I know she looks a bit like a Pink Fairy Armadillo. But... well thats not our damn business! You must understand that our giant needs some pussy from time to time... and you need the money. Every time you feel like spiting on his scruff, just remember that he gives you $500 bucks a day to support your cocaine habit. He's the Big Cheese here and his dope pusher's got the best shit in town. So, lets not crucify the bastard for this corny demonstration of mindless faggotry. What do you say? Are you gonna be a good dog or would you rather binge on cold turkey, Bambi.        

- Japanese guitar dude(aka James): No! no! No! I wont play that homodumbshit, in fact, Imna go smoke break fluid and pass out on someone else's vomit. That will teach that Casper wannabe a lesson. He does not know what smashing a pumpkin really means.

- Androgynous sky-scraping cyborg and bass player(aka D'arcy):Look son of a motherless goat, when I got busted with 3 bags of pure Charlie, you weren't there to bail me out. Billy showed up with Quaaludes and chocolate while you were fucking that Canadian twat...You miserable shoe eating baboon.He even got me a shrink and took care of the bills cuz I developed a rampant Policophobia due to the post-traumatic stress. I saw badges when I closed my eyes for more than 3 seconds. I had nightmares with George Michael. You have no fucking clue how that feels like!Besides, if it wasn't for him I'd be a bloody waitress in Michigan and you'd be recording tracks for Dragon Ball Z. So let me know if you come up with something more comfortable to slip into besides a coma.... Unitard... Billy:1/Jap:0  

- Japanese guitar dude(aka James):(muttering : dike...)
Agggh...aight, fine, but if he says the word "Mercury" again Im gonna send a job application to the Dragon Ball people... I'll smoke crack if I have to, I dont give a shit. If Whitney could do it man, I sure can.

- Androgynous sky-scraping cyborg and bass player(aka D'arcy): That's the spirit champ ! Now lets go get all boogered up.  

- Japanese guitar dude (aka James): After you sister, lets go get wasted. Bitches & Sake
- Androgynous sky-scraping cyborg and bass player(aka D'arcy):
Bitches & Sake comrade!

 On-Stage (45 minutes later...)

- Billy : I wanna dedicate this ballad to my sweetheart... Tila Tequila
 
- Androgynous sky-scraping cyborg and bass player(aka D'arcy): Fuck this shit... Im out. How about you my bedbugs, Who's in for a break night ? Billy brother, I love you, but some bass players,do have dignity man I

guess what Im trying to say is ...smoke my pole nubshit!
 
- Japanese guitar dude(aka James): Yay !!! wait up Fartsy!  Thats a rap for you Soft-Corgan-grene. Fuck her brains out just use a rubber. See you in Nam homie.Break liquid here I come!!!

- Drummer : knjjjhh(Snort)... Yeah man, its not personal, but I cant stand the chicken scratch no more. Life can be a bitch.

Im not looking at you in the eye ever again Billy,  ever... You sucked more than anyone ever before in the history of sucking ! Do you hear me man. You Sucked!