Freak Me Up Bitcher, Im Jack the Rippaah . You Aint But A Pill Delivery Dyke With Man Titties. "

Wouldn't this be her Masterpiece ?

Two years ago,Lady Gaga(60)was convicted of murder and sentenced to life in a mental hospital for killing Donald Trump with a brick because he refused to let her try on his wig. She had also been diagnosed with rabies and syphilis.

Last Monday, Gaga was shot by one of the nurses who had worked in the institution since 1991. 

An eye-witness, who asked us to refer to him as "Spurio" in this article, testified in court later on. He is a male nurse who was on a night shift when Gaga had the last seizure that led to her bitter finale. This is an excerpt of his testimony:

"That day she was peacefully eating her own whoopsie doodles  in a dog cage (which she personally requested). It was all going well, until I handed her a dinner tray and accidentally said: "here you go gaga lady". He declared "I did not mean to call her that, it was an innocent spoonerism"

But Lady G is not exactly what you would call a forgiver... "She went fucking nuts... butter bubbles started foaming and dripping out of her hole, as she mumbled something like: "Freak me up bitcher if you wanna meet Jack the Rippaah! 

Polly wants crack, Polly wants a Valium ... give it to me or I'll pay a visit to your family, I'll hunt them down like maggots and cook them on a stick like a Viking torch and then  beat them out of recognition form.

They will sing poker face all night, dressed in barbed wire while I play Black Jack with Jack Black, Jack White, Joe Black and  the Japanese mob.

(then Gaga started singing a rare version of Disco Stick while stuffing her ears with play doh)

*Lets fuck someone, this dick is sick. I want to smoke some crack on your disco stiff.(the nurse imitated Gaga)

 "She started mumbling crap at her own imagine reflected on an aluminium urinal"

I heard her say really strange things. Nonsense basically." He quoted Gaga:
"Are to talking to me ? yeah you, Lady Gargles... cuz Im talking to you. Are you talking to me!? Just drop the bomb,dont try to confuse me, I know where you are going with all this shit! So save it, tell me where you hide the crack Wilson! Dont lie to me ugly motherfucker! I saw you crisscrossing with Whitney Houston just yesterday. Who do you think I am ??? Tony Danza ? Imna make you suck a bag of dicks... You giant retarded pile of monkey excrement ball. Why don't you go blow your brains out, you've got nothing to lose. I don't know what makes you tick, but I hope it's a time bomb."
"It was damn sad." Said Spurio."I mean, Im not a fan so I loved it, but after a while it started getting creepier and creepier...the room started to stink so I called my superiors and told them what was going on."
He  was instructed to give her a shot of tranquilizers.
 
"I tried to put an end to it but she attacked me with the urinal in question. She kept yelling "Aaron Carter is dead, I cant ride a bike, Aaron Carter is dead, I was drunk, Im sorry, don't call the cops" for no reason whatsoever as she hit me with that thing over and over again. I left the room with several injuries. I knew if I let her hurt me I could extort her lawyers or something. Im now suing her for Physical Assault. Plus I get to sell my scabs on E-bay, cause there are lots of fucked up people who'd pay lots of money for these babies" (some of the pictures of Spurio's injuries were presented as evidence in the trial)


This time, a more experienced nurse came in equipped with a shotgun.Gaga was not in a good mood but neither was the nurse.
Lady Gaga told her : I dare you to pull the trigger Mrs." Im an underpaid civil servant all dressed in white and shit. You ain't but a pill delivery dyke with man titties, you're having delusions of competence fatty. I'll let suck my mini cock, how about that?"
But what Gaga didn't know is that this woman was  a "Counter Strike" national champion, from Texas and was on a diet since 2003. She pulled the trigger before Gaga could even reach her crotch. It was a clean head shot.

She immediately passed away. May she rest in peace and never come back.

One of Gaga's famous lines: "I never thought Id ask Cher to hold my meat purse"